Rebounding from Relapse

Relapse is a Process, Not an Event

Relapse, while disheartening, provides us with a valuable learning experience. For the beginner in recovery, it might seem like relapse happens out of the blue. Almost as if it was an impulsive, unexpected decision. However, as we learn more about the complex nature of addiction, we are able to pick up on the deeper subtle cues that warn us relapse is on the horizon. An experienced person in recovery will see relapse as a process that occurs weeks to months before the actual use of drug/alcohol. Reflecting on what contributed to our relapse helps us understand our triggers and warning signs. Armed with this knowledge we can better prepare ourselves for triggering situations and catch our slips before we fall.

The Rebound

Recovery from addiction can be a longer process than we anticipated, filled with trial and error. The important thing is to roll with setbacks and not let them stop our recovery work. We can learn from each setback by identifying what worked, building upon it, and letting go of what did not work. There is no successful person in recovery that has not stumbled. And sometimes you have to stumble, to pick yourself up, and avoid a bigger fall.

The Lesson

A relapse can teach us a lot if we let it. Sometimes the shame and guilt can be so overwhelming, that we fail to diagnose why the relapse happened. We may attribute it to just being careless. However, for those of us who have been successful, relapse prevention is a skill that requires training and practice. We found that simply beating ourselves up for making a mistake was not constructive and was taking the easy way out. This world will test us and it will sting. The point is not to get stung from the same place twice. That is insanity - to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Sound familiar? Relapse is part of the process. The goal is to not relapse by making the same mistakes. Each time we get back up to try again, the goal should be to add another tool and resolve to avoid making the same slips. In order to do that, we have to be willing to confront our relapse and analyze what led up to it. Tools that you can add include more recovery meetings, finding a therapist, entering back into a treatment program, or going to a recovery residence like Madina House Recovery Residence.

Training

If you haven’t changed yet, it may mean that you haven’t learned enough skills to defeat your enemy. You wouldn’t go in the boxing ring, lose the fight, and say that boxing doesn’t work. You would simply train harder. The boxer cannot control how strong his opponent is, nor when they will strike. But they can control when they confront their opponent, how hard they train, and how to motivate themselves. Similar to an opponent, addiction can be strongly rooted by the time we start treating it. We can decide to avoid triggers and stay in a safe place until we are ready to confront them. We can choose to train and master the skills of addiction recovery and practice spiritual remedies. We can choose to spend time with positive people and influences that motivate and strengthen us. You may decide you need to pursue this training by going to more recovery meetings, finding a therapist, entering back into a treatment program, or going to a recovery residence like Madina House Recovery Residence.

Planning for Success

Give yourself your best chance at success and plan ahead.  Think about what you have planned for upcoming days, weeks, and months. Maybe there’s work, a birthday party, or a wedding. Look at your plans and identify how each one makes you feel, will it be triggering? Will it be stressful? Will your sobriety be put at risk? Knowing these things can help you strategize your own self-care plan. You can plan ahead to shorten visits, avoid unhealthy gatherings, or invite someone with you whom you can trust to keep you strong and motivated. 

Friday Jumuah prayers are a good time to monitor the upcoming week. If a relapse is imminent, then daily prayers can be great breaks in the day to take inventory of potential relapse situations. After the prayer, take some time to review any previous close calls and any possible difficult situations before the next prayer or self-check. Think of this time as a way to reset your feelings, renew your motivation, and prepare for the future.